Return to Africa

In April 2013 I stepped foot off of African soil with my heart still there. I felt clearly that God was asking me to wait to come back to the place I fondly call my second home. That seems silly to me since I have only been there 5 times for a grand total of 10 weeks. My soul on the other hand feels like I have been there my whole life. So with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat I said my goodbyes with the hope of returning again but not really knowing in my heart if God would call me back. That was one of the hardest things to do.

So let me backtrack even further if I may. I first felt God calling me to go to Africa in 2006 but I was afraid. I was afraid of the unknown, of being away from my family, of being somewhere I had never been before, of dying, of flying and so much more. So I said no. Not me. Not to Africa. Ever.

Time passed by and each year a team left from our church and I felt in my heart I should go. Our pastor spoke one Sunday about missions and putting your yes on the table. No matter where or what would you say yes to God. So I took the long path up to the alter and I prayed with tears streaming down my face that I had been disobedient to God but I am ready to put my yes on the table no matter where He sent me, what He asked me to do I would do it. I asked Him in return to give me peace about it as well as my family.

So 2009 comes around and our church had the annual Zambia interest meeting and I went. With a new anticipation in my heart I was confident from that moment that God was telling me.....Now, now is the time you will go and be my hands and feet. You will plant seeds and reach people in Africa.

I can only tell you that the next years (5 total) I spent my free time thinking of returning, what I could do, who I would meet, how could I contribute to the team, how many days would it be between my trips there, how would I raise the money to go, how many people would come to know Christ because I was now obedient.

So last year I stayed home because I felt I needed to focus on missions here. In my neighborhood, in my town, in my state. I have found ways to be involved with sharing the Gospel and it has been satisfying but my soul longed to be elsewhere. Each time I have sat down to speak to someone about Christ I picture a dirt floor, a mat, wild dogs, pigs or chickens around me, shaking hands in an unusual way, children giggling as they dare each other to touch me on the arm, the smell of the fire as it prepared dinner.....but as I looked around that was not what I saw and my heart felt it. I have been successful in leading several people to Christ (only because God allowed me to be the one to harvest that seed) but more successful in discipleship with long time friends who need one on one mentorships. That is how God is using me here and I am grateful that He chose to use me in that way.

My heart longs to be in Africa again. There has not been a day that goes by that I don't pray and ask God to make it clear where I am to serve Him. My sister in Christ, Leah and I have been praying together and talking about what God is saying to each of us. We both feel He is calling us back but we are unsure when we will go, how we will go, what we will do and much more.....but we don't need those details because He already knows them.  He has thankfully made it abundantly clear to us both that we will be going back soon and my heart couldn't be happier. So I write this to ask you for your prayers. Prayers for our plans, prayers for our families, prayers for our funding, prayers for our hearts to be prepared to return to Africa.